I want to share with you my experience on the self-development train to where I am now. Life Styling is a huge piece to this puzzle, and there are other elements I feel drawn to share with you, that have allowed me to step into my power, my soul purpose and my truth. And yes this is totally possible for you too, its just not something that is not readily talked about or even seen as an option, but if you feel ready to let go of the past, negative self talk and a lifestyle you are no longer comfortable with, then perhaps this can help you too.
I am going to take you back 10 years, as this is where the catalyst of events started, you could say the start of feeling awakened. But any who my life took a massive turn.
It was just over 10 years ago I found out my mum had breast cancer. I was 23 year and running ‘free’ around London studying Fashion Styling, working in the industry and doing a lot of partying. At the time my parents were living in Italy. The initial shock was intense, I felt a sense confusion of the unknown. We spent the summer out there, as mum had her operation. I then had to go back London to do my final year of studying. But by then, I was even questioning if I should carry on. It seems a little selfish at the time to do so.
After mum settled, they decided to move back to the UK, near Oxford (where there was a great hospital). My parents went out to Italy to retire, but that obviously wasn’t meant to be. I finished my final year then had to re-locate and live back with my parents in Abingdon. I felt like a failure after studying 3 years and putting so much pressure on getting a job afterwards. Doing many internships (for free) and feeling scared to take the next step or even to understand what that was. Needless to say I ended up fully moving to Abingdon and finding a job close by. Navigating this all in such a short period of time, now looking back – I was going through a massive life change. Family started to become more of a priority over my career (or a distraction as I didn’t know where to go from here) and felt the pressure of putting so much money into studying and not instantly seeing results. I found a job at Prada and this suited me as I adored the brand.
The years between brought change after change with mums cancer. At first she was giving the all clear but after a year it had spread and it was terminal. I found a way to deal with this, and actually I believe this way has allowed me to become who I am today. I decided I couldn’t control what was next but I could live in the moment and enjoy it all. Don’t get me wrong this was blasted apart every time we got the latest news, but then i got myself back to a place in the present. From being such a driven person, I realised I had spent so many years holding onto control, but control doesn’t serve anyone. You could spend days drawing up scenarios in your head, only for them possible not happen.
From mum being ill, it came apparent to me that I wanted her to meet my child. So the plan of having a child later was moved forward and I became pregnant at 29. I had met my partner soon after moving to Abingdon, and this in itself bought stability and contentment, you see we balance each other out. I am driven and fast paced and he loves keeping things simple. This learn is a component of Life Styling as it is today – simplifying our lives to remove the bullshit, clutter and basically anything that doesn’t serve happiness. After spending 4 years at Prada, and going back to work when Riley was 6 months old. I had realised that the hours meant that I couldn’t balance my career and my daughter Riley. I felt completely stuck. I wanted to live to my full potential (something i had been chasing my whole life) but it meant not having any time with my family and my daughter. Any mums reading this may connect with this – after having a child and being consumed with them, you feel lost yourself – your identity, your wellbeing, your time.
My dad at this point was also ill and diagnosed with cancer. The decision was an easy one for me, but meant dropping salary. At this time everyone thought i was crazy. I wasn’t, I knew I didn’t actually want the corporate job. I wanted flexibility and balance and was determined to discover this without giving up my passion, purpose and gift. I took a job at OKA and had a great 3 years, the company was expanding and I learnt a lot. I found myself in a training role. But after feeling like I had more to give there was still a void needing to be filled. It no longer felt right giving all i had to a business that didn’t fully align with my values and the idea that we can do life our way . I wanted to do more and allow flexibility for me. Working weekends, not sharing my full potential just wasn’t kicking it anymore. During lock-down I found out I was being made redundant, and although scared at first – I saw this as a huge blessing and started working on Life Styling (a decision I had made 2 years prior but hadn’t got off my ass to do it.) Well actually you could say fear got in the way, and the idea of doing something that was against the society ‘norm’. But I had enough of trying to fit into this masculine mould to do well. The work space was not created to support women, and the only way forward in my eyes was to create it myself.
A year on and knowing what I know now – learning about the dominance of this masculine energy (not talking about men, we posses both feminine and masculine energy) and that the way the world has been functioning/controlling/consuming is not working. It makes so much sense. Now we all have a part to play. And no I do not mean to make the world feminine energy, I mean a balance. A balance where we can work together with our individual powers, and live a lifestyle that suits us and fits for a better world for our kids. And to do this we need to shake off this form of suppression and truly align with ourselves. Life Styling is that stepping stone, to show you its possible, we can be sustainable and we can feel empowered to be authentically us and also contribute to the greater cause – humanity, the planet its self that we live on.
Rewind to October, 2 weeks prior to loosing my mum. My sister had mentioned she would like to go and see someone, perhaps get her palm read. So I reached out to someone I had connected with on instagram and through the Oxford Etsy team. Maddie from Hoof & Paw who ran the most magical business focused on wellbeing through crystal candles mentioned a lady called Sharon, we booked a chakra balance with her – having no idea what this was but open to the outcome. I have always believed in positive energy, I have done tarot cards for years and have been drawn to crystals my whole life. But I never imagined to be connected with it so much. The first visit to see Sharon Soul Purpose was an eventful one. I had got lost and actually ended up stuck in a ditch. Literally my Jeep was hanging in the air! After this initial excited, I stepped into Sharons business and was blown away by the process and experience, it really connected with how i was feeling and gave me strength to understand what was right in front of me. I had been trying to fight through these emotional blocks but didn’t know the cause, yet right in front of me was a way to connect back into my self and work through this in a real way.
From here, this had opened up so much. Meeting Sharon and Maddie had shown me there are actually ways we can look after ourselves in a truly authentic way. I have worked through so much stuff – behaviours, negative baggage that I have carried around for life times. As Sharon often says ‘ no one ever tells you that you can just let it go, that you no longer need to carry it’. How we act, react, communicate can often come from a place of fear. What you can call the ‘ego’, is actually like a machine that processes all your experiences and reacts to new ones from a place of the past. We don’t have to operate like this, and there is a way to really align your energy. I know it was synchronicity in play meeting Sharon and Maddie, they both showed up at magical times through this last Year and were beacons of hope and strength and I felt like I had finally found a community that I could feel myself in, I realised that what Life Styling provides is a piece to the puzzle, but the journey I have been on shows that there is more. I want to bring this together to make it possible for everyone to be able to know that we have the choice. It’s helped me go through grief, realise my soul purpose, come into my true energy and let go of negative patterns that were holding me back in my business.
There is so much more to share with you and this is just an introduction. And your story, your purpose and your energy is so so so important. You have to prioritise yourself – we cant give if we are only half full. When you are truly aligned and operate from your authentic self you can do anything. And together this ethos can make the world a better place. I felt connected with Maddy’s ultimate why as soon as I saw the passion in her eyes as she said it….